Thoroughly Modern Meggie

John McCain's little girl, Meghan, has assumed the mantle of a moderate modern maiden whose claim to fame appears not to be  her father, but her "refreshingly" candid views of the political scene.

Sure, I love it when a Gopper sounds reasonable. Witness: Joe Scarborough taking on the right wing - and then cashing in on the approbation of the left wing for being so "fair-minded."

Machiavelli would approve your baby step, Joe.

Heaven knows the left and right are at a standoff at the OK corral of collegiality. And the hell of it is that conservatives have become so entrenched in their extreme positions that they cannot ameliorate them without appearing to decamp from what they consider their right to be right in their righteousness.

It is, therefore, always encouraging when someone on the right admits that all is not coming up roses in republican-land.

The following remarks are from Meghan McCain, who has apparently recovered from her boo boo on the Alex Wagner show where she misspoke, using "emoticon" for "modicum" during her on-air punditry. She writes in the Daily Beast that she finds little hope for her fellow Goppers:

"(1)   Santorum, who is a lunatic, right-wing fringe candidate that is hanging on to his candidacy for no other reason than, once this election cycle is over, he knows no one will ever listen to him again. I half expect Santorum to start throwing a tantrum on stage after he loses yet another primary and scream: “If I’m not going to be the nominee, no one is!”

(2)    Then, there is Newt Gingrich, the over-blown relic of the 90s, with so much baggage and anger that he really should move to a country where he can be dictator."

Good going, Meggie! I couldn't have nailed it better.

You could believe that maybe here is one infant conservative who'll grow up to be an fully functioning, contributing and reasonable member of society.

Until we come to this: 

"(3)    Finally, there’s my boy Mitt—whom, yes, I support and no matter what, will vote for  him.....but as his wife says, he has to unzip"

No matter what?

No matter than he plans to defund Planned Parenthood? No matter that he has embraced every side of every issue - sometimes within the same week? No matter that he has proved to be unpatriotic....sending his money offshore to avoid taxes? No matter that he has no character? You think all he has to do is unzip? Unzip what? His head?  His mouth? His trousers? 

Where does he keep his ethics?

Come on, Meghan; put your brain in gear before you put your mouth in motion. If you are going to try for believability, you gotta go whole hog.

-30-

How Now, You Cow?

Could it be there is a chastity belt in your future?

Could Rick Santorum and Virginia's Bob McDonnell be any more out of touch with this epoch?

Actually, I'm not exactly sure how long an epoch is, but nothing either of them says carries any association with anything I believe or have experienced, and I lived most of my life in both halves of the last century.

Unfortunately, those who are being born in this century are going to have a lot to deal with if the religious nuts who are, in the main, white, middle-aged males buttressed with Viagra, and who are swanning about on the political stage advising women they are just so much meat.

Are you a woman who dares to entertain the idea of ending an unwanted pregnancy? It's legal but, damn it, before you can take advantage of this right, you must submit to the governor of Virginia. Lie down, spread your legs and let some guy probe you with a wand that isn't his own.

Unbelievable!

We are being told contraception is bad. It leads to - heaven forefend! -  inappropriate activity like sex for fun and pleasure.  We can't have that! Any woman who dares to want to get laid just for the hell of it might,  in a few years, find herself in the public square with her hands and feet locked in the stocks while upstanding male churchgoers chuck rotten eggs at her. 


Or, remember the ducking stool?

What kind of a society of guilt-ridden masochists and sadists are these bulwarks of religion trying to turn the population of this one-time democratic-loving, freedom-pursuing - and, Christ, yes, religious-free country into? 

This is a resurrection of the Inquisition.

Ladies...get out your pitchforks and get into the fight. 

-30-

How To Take a Sponge Bath

     1.  Wash down as far as possible.

     2.  Wash up as far as possible.

     3.  Then wash "possible".

The GOP goose chase is down to three candidates and worried Conservative activists who know their asses from their elbows are praying that Santorum is not "possible."

However, we liberals recognize that Santorum is indeed possessed of all the necessary functioning features of "possible" and we will be overjoyed to see them laid bare.

I know, I know....after Bush v. Gore it is dangerous to assume the country won't stand for the election of still another fellow from the land of the misbegotten, but we can still hope that lunacy won't strike twice.


Watching Torquemada Rick having to truly defend his 15th century positions to a more homogenous audience  could be the best entertainment of the 21st century. Of course Obama could tear him a new "possible", but I think the true dismantling of the bigot will come from an incensed intelligentsia, if such indeed exist in this country.


Therefore, I have abandoned all hope of having that lump of lard and his moon base (I don't mean Callista)  providing me with a few months of popcorn-munching entertainment and am putting all my body English in favor of Santorum.