Saturday, February 25, 2012

Sex-ridden And Proud of It

I believe we are the most prurient nation on earth. Maybe even in history.

Yes, I know about the Kama Sutra, and all the carvings in and on  the temples of many Eastern nations. I know about (but not much) the doings of the Marquis de Sade. I know there have been bawdy houses since time began, and that there are industries devoted to producing all manner of pornographic material that members of all walks of society subscribe to. And I know what is said to be the oldest profession extant.

But the temple carvings in Cambodia, and elsewhere in the East, are not hidden behind a plain brown wrapper. And visitors to those sites don't giggle and make off-color remarks (unless they happen to be American). Those who created them and those who admire them are not ashamed and don't consider their lack of shame shameful.

However, Americans are and do.

At least those Americans of the Santorum/McDonnell ilk,  And, dear heaven, there appear to be such an antic, frantic lot of them judging by the Jimmy Swaggarts, Jim Bakkers and Ted Haggards of Evangelicalism. And we cannot forget all  those Catholic priests - and deviant Protestant pastors - that the churches' head honchos hide and protect.

They are ALL pissant hypocrites.

I don't think the most sex-involved among us - the ones who have an active and avid interest in all things sexual - should be pronounced nearly as disgusting as the prudish prigs who claim to approve of only married sex in the missionary position and/or total abstinence. These are the ones that never seem able to get their minds and tongues off the subject of other people's sexual activities for even a minute.  

I am convinced that some of the biggest skunks at the garden party are those who insist that we censor the videos of those adorable bare bottomed babies  who are often featured on programs like America's Funniest Videos. Why is it necessary to blur the unclothed cheeks of a two-year-old unless we are a country so sex-crazed that we believe such a view would send the population into a frenzy of rape and molestation.

Yes, America, we are, indeed, exceptional.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

How Now, You Cow?

Could it be there is a chastity belt in your future?

Could Rick Santorum and Virginia's Bob McDonnell be any more out of touch with this epoch?

Actually, I'm not exactly sure how long an epoch is, but nothing either of them says carries any association with anything I believe or have experienced, and I lived most of my life in both halves of the last century.

Unfortunately, those who are being born in this century are going to have a lot to deal with if the religious nuts who are, in the main, white, middle-aged males buttressed with Viagra, and who are swanning about on the political stage advising women they are just so much meat.

Are you a woman who dares to entertain the idea of ending an unwanted pregnancy? It's legal but, damn it, before you can take advantage of this right, you must submit to the governor of Virginia. Lie down, spread your legs and let some guy probe you with a wand that isn't his own.


We are being told contraception is bad. It leads to - heaven forefend! -  inappropriate activity like sex for fun and pleasure.  We can't have that! Any woman who dares to want to get laid just for the hell of it might,  in a few years, find herself in the public square with her hands and feet locked in the stocks while upstanding male churchgoers chuck rotten eggs at her. 

Or, remember the ducking stool?

What kind of a society of guilt-ridden masochists and sadists are these bulwarks of religion trying to turn the population of this one-time democratic-loving, freedom-pursuing - and, Christ, yes, religious-free country into? 

This is a resurrection of the Inquisition.

Ladies...get out your pitchforks and get into the fight. 


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

How To Take a Sponge Bath

     1.  Wash down as far as possible.

     2.  Wash up as far as possible.

     3.  Then wash "possible".

The GOP goose chase is down to three candidates and worried Conservative activists who know their asses from their elbows are praying that Santorum is not "possible."

However, we liberals recognize that Santorum is indeed possessed of all the necessary functioning features of "possible" and we will be overjoyed to see them laid bare.

I know, I know....after Bush v. Gore it is dangerous to assume the country won't stand for the election of still another fellow from the land of the misbegotten, but we can still hope that lunacy won't strike twice.

Watching Torquemada Rick having to truly defend his 15th century positions to a more homogenous audience  could be the best entertainment of the 21st century. Of course Obama could tear him a new "possible", but I think the true dismantling of the bigot will come from an incensed intelligentsia, if such indeed exist in this country.

Therefore, I have abandoned all hope of having that lump of lard and his moon base (I don't mean Callista)  providing me with a few months of popcorn-munching entertainment and am putting all my body English in favor of Santorum.