Bearding the Gorgon

Piers Morgan interviewed Ann Coulter last night.

Maybe I am going to be one of his fans.

The interview was irritating, as are all encounters with that woman and her weird affectations - i.e.:

*  Naked shoulders, designed to be sexy but which she hunches up like a consumptive.

*  The long blond hair that she tosses and runs her hands through in what I suppose is meant to be a sensual fashion but puts me in mind of a haystack in a stiff wind.

*  Her peripatetic tongue which seems to fork through those fine white teeth like that of an asp or adder - whichever carries the more toxic venom.

Last night, her Adam's Apple took a back seat to the  false eyelashes that were not quite correctly in place as they batted over her left eye at a precarious angle.

I know she loves driving  liberal thinkers insane with her lunatic attacks which she delivers with such forceful certitude that those with a functioning brain are rocked back on their heels just by the force of her gall.

A real charmer. 

Somehow, Piers was able to parry her  babble with a kind of equanimity I think she found unsettling.

Beyond that, he threw her a curve by inquiring into her personal life and in so doing revealed that this harridan is embarrassed by her condition....whatever that might be. That she is 50? That she is unmarried but was engaged three times? That she sleeps until noon?

It was a satisfying interview, Piers. It was almost like watching a boy scout pouring water on a witch.

Is Nowhere Safe From the Purveyors of Piety?

It could almost make you believe synchronicity is a law instead of a theory. You put something into the ether and, by golly, there is a manifestation!

Just when I blog that I resent people pushing their religious and moral points of view at me, two bible thumpers appear on my doorstep - with bibles in hand, and wearing lady-like-length dresses and shoes with two-inch heels.

It's hard to believe since I live in real country. No houses within sight or sound. They had to drive a half mile from the road to my gate, and then another half mile from my gate to my house. And it is 95 degrees in the shade today, with near 100 percent humidity. Is that a kind of self-flagellation?

What would possess anyone to do that?

I am sure my anti-religion fervor is at least as strong as their fundamentalist fervor, but not in my wildest nightmare could I see myself traveling to their doorsteps to tell them that religion is the root of all evil and ask them why they don't read about all the miracles of nature instead of those cruel and violent fairy tales they are addicted to.

What they need is a subscription to National Geographic or tune into the Science Guy.

But would I be rude enough to drive up to their houses and tell them that?
 Certainly not.

-30-

At My Age, Pushback's Become a Way of Life

Just as I was reveling in the pleasures provided by the quick and open minds of Mark Morford,  Bill Maher and Keith Olbermann this morning, an acquaintance provided me with a cold shower of reality. i.e. there are more closed minds out there than even a quick and open mind can count.

What arrived in my mailbox was a link to a web site called NewsBusters.

This product of published parochial views claims it is in the business of "Exposing and Combating Liberal Media Bias."

Do Conservatives not know the meaning of "liberal?"

* broad: showing or characterized by broad-mindedness; "a broad political stance"; "generous and broad sympathies";  "tolerant of his opponent's opinions"

That should preclude "bias" by definition. Where can you find bias in an open mind?

This liberal entertains a view, opinion or bit of intelligence and, being thoughtful and reasonably intelligent herself, examines it and either adopts it or discards it.

This liberal is one who is tolerant of all people - except the willfully ignorant and those who seek to ram their views down her throat.

Then I, like most liberals, tend to get a mite testy.

Easy Peasy!

Everyone is agitating to have the troops brought home. Agreed, it will be a phenomenal savings to the taxpayer not to have to pay their salaries and purchase all that equipment.

Until the soldiers and armament factory workers  have to file for unemployment insurance.

* * * *

There is a new car designed by Volkswagen, and perhaps built in China, that travels 75 miles an hour and gets 258 mpg. It is available to the Chinese for $600 US currency. Of course it only carries one person and his toothbrush, but, still......... It will save gas but could $600 a car support a U.S. auto industry that employs thousands?

* * * *

Scrap health care, Medicare and Social Security. And then let the government house or bury all those who will litter the streets carrying their beggars' bowls.

Beware those bloviators seeking to replace President Obama with their simple solutions they say he is too dumb to understand.

Do you remember the story about The Monkey's Paw?



Badly Done, Queenie - Badly Done

Earlier this week I saw the film of our President toasting the Queen of England.

I've also seen reports that he committed a gaffe by toasting her while the God Save the Queen theme song was playing.

That was not a gaffe. We are not a country so steeped in archaic tradition that we cannot be natural, normal and spontaneous. Why should he have known better? That's their drummer, not ours.

I would think that a Queen, a queen of a country that used to call itself an empire (does it still?),would have the good grace to have eased whatever embarrassment a lesser man might have felt in not being "up" on the etiquette of that constipated society.

Standing there holding her stupid pocketbook like a bag lady, she could have added a little grace by looking at Obama and smiling.....or putting her hand on his arm in an understanding manner....or stopping the whole damned rigamarole, thanking him....and then giving a cue to restart the band. What would have happened? Armageddon?

I like tradition. There is comfort in familiarity. But, Jeez Louise, if a monarch can't take charge of  a minor infraction and add a little humanity, if not humility, to a situation, what an impotent office she holds.

Maybe Elizabeth II should be the last of a long line of totally useless royals who have been living off the English dole for more millennia than is good for a population.

After Qaddafi, the House of Windsor?

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"

I am beside myself with delight because I am now among the favored Internet users who operate a computer with a broad band connection.

This is my first entry in a week because it has rained every day and soaked my telephone wires so much that my dial-up was reduced to practically minus bps and I couldn't even sign on, much less access anything.

My gadget-loving son came to visit last weekend with his Verizon phone-price reader-dog whistle-encyclopedia-world atlas-place finder computer and sat next to me and my molasses-moving laptop and then smartly pulled up this blog on his pocket computer before I completed a click to sign on to my account, and I am in heaven.

When we called Verizon, we discovered they provided an 'island' of service between the Hardware River and Secretarys Road...  and that's my farm! I am now connected to the rest of the world with a magical thing called MiFi.

I love you Verizon.

And, to add a gob of whipped cream, nuts and a cherry, I've discovered Keith Olbermann has returned to my life.

While his TV program on Current TV doesn't begin until June 20, he can be found here:
http://current.com/shows/countdown/

Now, if only I can see Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin and Newtie competing for the GOP primary debates, my cup will runneth over.

Take These People, Please!

Two of the cleverest Rapture ideas I've heard:

Someone suggests getting a bunch of old shoes from the Salvation Army and then filling them with dry ice and leaving them around town so the Rapture devotees who see abandoned shoes with vapor rising from them will be disappointed that they were not among the chosen.

The other is more than an idea; it's a going business. Some enterprising folks have agreed to take the pets of the prospective departees....for a price. No money back guarantee.

I suppose making fun of these poor creatures is beyond our/my ability to resist. But underlying the hilarity of it all is a very depressing truth: Too many of our number have been left in the Dark Age.

Most of the "enlightened" have been reluctant to disabuse those still shackled by the superstitious folderol dished out by the priesthoods of various sects because they think "believing" is a crutch that should not be removed. That assessment certifies that religion services the crippled! The crippled in mind and spirit.

Some....yea, many.....will think this is cruel. For years I, too, thought it was unkind to criticize the religious and was always reluctant to let any "believers" see how foolish I thought they were.

But no more. I have come  to realize that you do a disservice to people by letting them wallow in nonsense. And, even more debilitating to society, allow them to spread this nonsense to future generations as if it were a gift instead of the curse it is.

How I wish all believers could be lifted from the earth to a "better place". That would assure us that OUR world would be a better place.